Polar Opposites

Yes, husband and I are polar opposites. Well, not on important things like how much we love each other, how we think politically and how we raise our children. We're more opposites in areas like - well, for instance, I'm a night owl and he's a "hit the ground running at Oh-Dark-Thirty" which infuriates me.

I like to get up slow, NO talking (gosh he's a talker when he gets up lol), have a gallon of coffee and I'm ready to start moving around 11 a.m. Meanwhile, Mr. Meticulous gets out of bed on the weekends and starts laundry at the crack of dawn which interrupts my ability to slowly become pleasant after much partaking of coffee. Instead of being able to relax, he's carrying laundry upstairs to fold. I can't sit here and NOT help (the guilt would kill me), so I'm pissed, heading upstairs to fold laundry that he started too damn early.

I'm short and small - he's a big guy. Again, polar opposites lol. Whenever someone knows husband at work, I guess they assume he's married to a biker gal or something. When I show up, I hear, "Wow, I thought you'd be...ummm taller."

Taller? I'm not THAT short. 5'2" isn't that short is it? He hears over and over that I'm not how they imagined his wife to look....I guess I'm suppose to look like something else even though there is a photo of us ON his desk lol. Ok, it's an old photo, but not THAT old.

He's the pushover at home and I'm the Barbara Bush of our family - The Enforcer. I guess people assume that former Drill Sergeant husband has us all stand at parade rest as he enters and exits the house. Ummm, NOT lol. The babies can pretty much get away with anything when it comes to Daddy. He's the fun parent; I'm the "Use Your Manners" parent.

He wanted a new vacuum. That red Bissell (I think) that has the lift off part for doing stairs and such. I wanted a new gun. Sunday he saw the new vacuum at the PX and I said we could wait. Our old vacuum gets the job done. He said I was impossible.

Monday after my doc's appointment, I stopped by a pawn shop to take a gander at their handguns. I'd talked to husband and HE SAID if I saw what I wanted, to buy it. Well, it just so happened they had the S&W 9mm that I wanted. I was going to wait and go back today and get it, but figured hell I'm here and I KNOW I'll end up buying it, I might as well save myself the trip lol. Ten minutes and a background check later, my new gun and I are on our way home for a long and prosperous relationship together lol.

Husband calls after I get home and asks if they had anything I liked. I did NOT know that his plan was to find this particular gun and buy it FOR ME as a surprise. Apparently he'd been calling gun shops for weeks looking for it. The first place I go into, they have it. I looked at it as it was meant to be ;).

Loving to give his polar opposite a hard time, husband says, "So let me get this straight. You're too cheap to buy a new vacuum cleaner, but a GUN that costs triple you have no problems with."

My response was, "I've never heard of anyone stopping an intruder with a new vacuum."

All he could do was let out a huge *sigh*...

It's not easy being married to me ;).

posted by Shannon at 6:10 AM   |    |  

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